Not Quite Ready

"I have achieved little in the field of soul-enhancement this week. No programme of self improvement has been embarked upon, and no improving books have been read. "

... In the normal run of things, this unpromising opening  would not have blossomed into a blog post. BUT - something extraordinary happened as I placed a tentative full stop at the end of that sentence - Twitter notified me with it's quaint little 'ding' that I have a new Follower. Well, golly, this is a remarkable event! My Followers are few and precious (I expect you know I was traumatised by being Unfollowed by Cheltenham... .) so to gain one is ridiculously gratifying. 

My new Follower is a Philosopher. My first Philospher! I am clutching my hands to my breast and fluttering my eyelids - metaphorically, of course, except for the fluttering eyelids - I am overcome with pride and gratitude. A Philosopher!

How do I know Simon is a Philosopher? He says so on his Twitter profile. And he writes books and has a philosophically-leaning website. I checked, of course. Why would I be puddling about HERE when I have a Follower to look into? 

Then I get to thinking. How do you become a Philosopher? What IS a Philosopher? What does a Philosopher actually DO?

I am off to Find Out.  I shall ask my ipad. 

Philosophers, I am informed, study Philosophy. Which I THINK boils down to explaining the world, and you have to be very clever to do it and very few are women. 

"A belief or system of beliefs accepted by a group or school." 

I have a system of beliefs! Summed up in the One Great Truth, the of which you are all familiar now: 

"You can believe what you like and get away with it." 

So I am off this instant to find a woman philosopher to see if I can pick up a few tips, because by now I am anxious to become one.

My voice recognition searchy-thing got the wrong end of the stick when I requested he 'Find women philosophers' and he came up with: "Here are a list of dating sites in your area." I have a hunch women Philosophers would not be amused. I was. Which probably means I'm not quite ready to be a Philosopher just yet. 

Furthermore:

• Philosophers, for the most part, are constitutionally timid, and dislike the unexpected. Few of them would be genuinely happy as pirates or burglars." -- Bertrand Russell, Unpopular Essays, Chapter IV, Part iii, p. 74.

I find myself hereby disqualified on three counts. Four if you include being a woman. Would I be genuinely happy as a pirate or burglar though? I shall have to think about that one.