The Chimney Sweep And The Pig

My church friends are circulating funny stories to keep us smiling. Here’s mine. A bit of ‘Matson Nostalgia’ 

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Here’s my favourite story from growing up at Matson, a large Council  Estate under Robinswod Hill, in Gloucester. It’s at least 90% true!

Mr Green, the chimney sweep lived at No 1Beacon Rd , his work was seasonal, and on at least one occasion,  extraordinary measures had to be taken  to feed his family. 

My father was a Special Constable for many years, and this is the story of his encounter with Mr Green and Farmer Peacey’s pig. 

One day, probably in early Spring, when fires were still in the grates, the local Bobby on the Beat called for my dad on his way to Peacey’s farm, to investigate the theft of a pig.

It did not take the resources of the forensics department - were there such a body back in 1957 - to piece together the crime scene, and apprehend the perpetrator, because Mr Green had inadvertently left his spectacle  case, with his name and address neatly printed inside, on the spot formerly occupied by the pig. 

It was a short walk from the farm to No 1Beacon Rd, and as the two officers of the law approached the door of the house, it was evident from the dying screech of the victim, and the general uproar, that for Mr Green, the game was well and truly UP. 

The door was eventually opened by a very small Green, who like the rest of the crime scene, was liberally splattered with blood.

(A pig, my father discovered, does not shuffle off this mortal coil without putting up a fight. )

Before the hapless sweep could get himself any deeper into hot water, my father remarked,

“Stan, that ‘ould better be a pig lying on your kitchen table, or you’re in SERIOUS trouble.” 

! !

Stay safe, everyone! 

Mary