The Second Blow

Alfie goes into Preschool and announces out loud (LOUDLY)  I’M NOT FINE!!A three-year old tells it like it is, and quickly moves on. 

Alfie’s father, Darren,  suffered a massive stroke on 6th December, and the family’s future became instantly and very dramatically, uncertain. 

What is there to say? Friends and family have rallied round with shock and compassion. “We are here.” 

How can we process this? 

The Bhuddists put it very well: “Don’t receive the second blow.” 

I am wounded. This shouldn’t be about me, forgive, me, my life has changed too, my daughter is broken-hearted, my son-in-law is fighting, with a degree of success ( thankfully) with  a life-changing stroke. How should I be, right now?

I am resisting  the “second blow’. Accept the new now, Refuse to be angry at “fate” . Give up the, “What if’s” Hold  on to “what is,” not try to, “fix it”, but  hold it, bear it, and let it go..

“Love bears  all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things!” Paul of Tarsus. So often, with elderly friends, suffering grief and loss during this pandemic, I have preached these words. Now I must proclaim them to myself. 

I’M NOT FINE.

But I’m here, and I’m staying. I am upheld, and I feel a foolish optimism, that is  from Elsewhere. Some of you will know. 

Thank you. Bless you. 

Darren with newborn son Frank: January 2016