I’m 75, and getting creaky. My knees and shoulders are, as my mother would say of anything on its way out, “Going Home!” So I’m clearing up before I clear out. I have documents scattered about on hard drives and apps here and there that are fit only to be deleted, but a few, like these, that I want to keep, and this is a good a place as any. here goes:
First Prize! Abby and Eric’s Wedding 2015
The Murder Mystery was great fun.
Qute a simple format really. One of the company was in character from the outset as a detective, who came round and jollied us all up, informing everyone how he had arrested me for soliciting etc., etc.
As we sat down to eat, he announced that a body had been found in a dumpster near the Studio (Studio East, where we were, is the Stage School and theatre where the bride and groom work...) He then interviewed about ten of the family and guests, with embarrassing photos pointed questions and humourous asides... During a tour of the studio, another murder took place on the stage which we all witnessed.
We were hustled back to the event room where we were based, and had to write down who we thought the murderer was. My explanation won the game and I received a prize! A pair of handcuffs! The company are professionals, who usually do this on cruises.
Today, or practically yesterday in the UK,is The Big Day.
Farmer's Market at 9am to collect flowers, Ceremont at 1230, Photographs and lunch to follow, then an evening do that involves kareoke. OMG! Darlene emailed the worst drinking song I have ever set eyes on to learn, 'Red Solo Cup' which actually contains the word 'testicles', which I shall sing as 'spectacles', just because I can. I have no objection to the word as such, but I am not given to singing it, believing such an action to be in poor taste. No poorer that the rest of the song, though, in fact it's not the worst line by miles.
(This laptop doesn't have 'Word' so I'm typing this in Notepad. No spellchecker! So you may have undetected typos here and there, especially as I can't get full screen either!)
I went to Marymoor Park yesterday. It was the middle of the day and around 35 C so I didn't st
Charlie Chaplin on his 70th birthday:
As I Began to Love Myself
As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY“
As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody as I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me.Today I call it “RESPECT“.
As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow.Today I call it “Maturity“.
As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment, so I could be calm. Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE“.
As I began to love myself I quit steeling my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it “SIMPLICITY“.
As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything the drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF“.
As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is “MODESTY“.
As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT“.
As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But As I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART“.
We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know THAT IS “LIFE“!
Hubris
Written after a morning with Gloucester City Mission 2019
Hubris. I have one friend who will be able to tell me whether I should be using 'Nemesis' instead, (Good Morning, Iris!) but hey! I shall stick with hubris for the moment.
I have been ill. Not seriously, just ill enough to discount all my blessings and do a little wallowing in self-pity, with a side order or regretting past mistakes, and a huge helping of wanting what I can't have. I am a whisker away from harming others, if tongue-lashing my husband for his shortcomings counts, and he would say that it does. In short, I write breezily about resisting these activities as a waste of life, just days before reaching for all of them as a palliative for a minor stomach upset. Brought on, I confess, by a surfeit of left-over Christmas goodies: Don't feel sorry for me.
I have to laugh. I get to this point, from time to time, when I begin to believe my own publicity. 'Oh look at you,' I tell myself admiringly, 'You have it all together. So erudite, so compassionate, so wise!'
Bollocks.
I ought to stop there, but the urge to make something out of my experience for the benefit of humankind is just too irresistible.
I sat with someone with real problems yesterday. We talked about the Higgs Boson, the ludicrous antics of our government, the state of Israel, the raving lunacy of fundamentalists ( He a Jew, I a Roman Catholic) and we laughed at it all.
Sitting down with a cup of tea and giving away time didn't cure his depression or my stomach ache, but afterwards, we both felt a little bit lighter.
We salvaged a moment.
