Friday, 13 December 2013

Is It REALLY Saturday Again?

I ask because last week, I thought Friday was Saturday, and had, as a consequence, TWO Saturdays, which was great, and sorted out by the time Sunday came around, which was manic because my friend John Gow came unexpectedly to Mass and I was keeping an eye on Abigail, collecting cyclamen, and asking for contributions for Gloucester City Mission Christmas Hampers all at the same time.. It is to be hoped the three will not be subject to confusion and deposited In the wrong resting place. Highly unlikely, as Abigail, a two-year old who knows her own mind, will not take kindly to be given away to a homeless person, or being used to decorate the window sills for the Feast of The Nativity.

I can't believe how quickly the week has flown by! It was relatively successful, especially in the joke department. I say, and it used to be true,  that I only know two jokes: though now I strain to recall what the one that wasn't about George Washington and the cherry tree, was. I rather hope it will return unscathed, but these days, there's no guarantee.

Monday was the Salvation Army Christmas Dinner. It was everything you'd expect, with a real brass ensemble playing carols. Although, come to think of it,  you might reasonably expect that at the Salvation Army.

Here's the first joke:

Three drunks approached a night-club. The gentleman on the door, AKA' a Bouncer', refused them entry because they weren't wearing an item of Christmas cheer. The first drunk went away and returned with a sprig of holly pinned to his jacket, and was allowed in. The second, likewise, only sporting a bunch of mistletoe. The third came back with a pair of knickers on his head. " You can't come in wearing THOSE. There's nothing. Christmassy about them!" Exclaimed The Bouncer.

"Oh yes there is!" Our third friend retorted. "They're Carol's!"

Ho ho ho. 

The second joke is worse than the first, so you may wish to give up and go home at this point. Oh Lord! I've just remembered, it might be construed as anti-religious, so I'd best be careful. 

An Anglican, a Catholic and a Calvinist went to heaven. At the Pearly Gates they entered into a pact to come back and let each other know how they got on. 

The Anglican went in first, and after ten minutes came out to make his report:

"Well, that wasn't too bad... I was wrong about a few things, but they let me in."

The. Catholic went in next, and SHE came out looking very relieved. "I was wrong about a few things too!" She said, but I'm in.

The Calvinist went next and was gone a very long time. Eventually, Jesus came out... 

"I was wrong about a few things ... "

Oh! Well, you'll either get it or you won't.

Merry Christmas Everyone! 

No comments:

Post a Comment