Sunday, 5 April 2015

Fun With Iambic Pentameter (!)

The Elopement
(For Fans of Downton Abbey)

What a kuffufle: Hear the tirade!
The chef's ran off with the scullery-maid!

Her Ladyship's fainted, and when she comes to
No-one'll escape the hullabaloo!

"How could these ingrates do this to me?
They KNEW Lady Westmorland's coming to tea!"

The chauffeur, who loved her, won't leave his bed
And Pardoner, the gardener's, locked in his shed

(He had a crush on Monsieur, though nobody guessed
He stayed in the closet, at his lover's behest.)

His lordship has wisely left for his club
Constitutiinally unable to withstand the hubbub.

He was wounded in the whatsits during The War,
And leads a much quieter life than before ...

Bounty, the mastiff's, rolls over, plays dead -
And King Henry's armour now stands on its head.

The Tweeny, when quizzed, swore not to know
That Nancy (the hussy) was planning to go.

And what, you might wonder was the fate of this pair?
Decamped, with no character, they might have despaired!

But no! Holed up in Brighton, renowned for it's looks
They're living off the proceeds from cooking the books!

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