Monday, 26 August 2013

WHAT Day Is it?

I am writing this from bed. I could get up, I probably should, but as I have everything at hand, and no urgent errands to perform, I see no reason to budge.

My lovely little cottage is under attack. Benignly so: It's having a new kitchen fitted. I contemplated re-locating with my daughters, you know, doing an old-style 'Royal Progress' from Jen's in town, to Kate's in Droitwich, finishing up in Bristol with Hannah. This may still be necessary, but for the time being, I am making do with a field-kitchen in the spare bedroom. 

It's Bank Holiday Monday! I hope the cafes in town are open, as I am contemplating giving one my lunch-time custom. I had forgotten the day, and don't know the date. I am thinking a lot about senility as David's funeral approaches, and wonder if I should be worried about forgetting that today is a public holiday. I decide not. When I was working, the public holidays always arrived  smack  in the middle of school hols, and therefore had no impact. I'm pleased for those of you who fall upon these havens of respite with relief bordering on ecstasy, but  for me, they've  always been an irritant. So many of you are out and about enjoying yourselves, that you've clogged up the roads and confined me to my home. 

Returning to my self-indulgent introspection on the health of my wits:

'Are you losing it?' Questions that would land me in hot water. 

Q: "What day of the week is it? 
A: "Haven't Cared Since I Retired, Unless it's Friday

Q: "Who's the Prime Minister?" 
A: " Haven't Cared Since The Children Took Over" 

Q: "What's The Pass Word To Your Bank Account" 
A: "Oh! Come On! I'm Not That Stupid." 

The answer to that one, is actually, "I Don't Know." I don't handle the accounts. Ray's not that stupid either... . 

I almost always do a little relevant research  in the writing of this Blog - for my amusement, you understand, your education is your own affair - so I searched for the ACTUAL questions that a health professional might ask me when tackling any decline  in my mental acuity. Couldn't find any. Though I did find reams of material on the Mental Capacity Act of 2005, which is an amazingly reassuring document. Granny's not getting deprived of her eccentric lifestyle until she's well out of it. Being Granny, I'm well pleased about this. 

I did, in the course of my research, find an online 'Test Your Own IQ' Site.    

As a retired professional brain-wrangler, I could see that it was as sound as they come
 ( which isn't THAT much of a recommendation, actually, as I have no respect for IQ Tests, but 
what the heck, I'm old and wanted to see just how past it I was getting.) 

HO HO!!! I'm not going to reveal my score, but I'm feeling a whole lot less depressed than I was 
when I started out this morning! 

Take comfort. You can forget what day of the week it is and STILL be a genius!


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